Women excluded from Brighton bar

I have previously written about the changing women's scene in Brighton which detailed the changing trend of ladies no longer necessarily wanting spaces exclusively for themselves, and that venues in the gay village were embracing this shift. The Marlborough Pub, is now a queer space, and girls nights such as Girls on Top are attended equally by the same number of boys.

At the time of writing, I assumed, may be naively, that the gay boys were feeling the same way as us girls, especially as I have a number of close gay male friends who I wouldn't want to exclude from my social activities, and they feel the same about me. I actually thought, as Rebecca, Manager from The Marlborough Pub so nicely put it, that 'segregation is becoming passe'.

However I've been forced to question if there is still a gender divide in the LGBT Community?

I was shocked when recent talk amongst female friends of mine, was about Legends, one of the bars in Kemptown, that has been actively excluding women from entering their establishment, since Pride weekend on 7/8th August.  A trendy venue that is popular with women for its relaxed friendly, spacious late night bar, and fabulous sea view terrace. I'd like to know why? Both men and women have frequented the place for years. I personally like it because when all the other places have closed, it is still open and serving right up to when the sun is rising and your body is demanding a visit to the all night cafe.

It's not the first time venues in Brighton have excluded women or tried to control numbers. I even remember the days of having to get a membership card for Revenge nightclub in order to gain entry - to prove I was a lesbian; I think we probably accepted the division more eight years ago or so!

But in 2006 with the introduction of the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Regulations, it made us all much more aware of our legal rights and standing up for them. Hence why there are now very angry girls who are not willing to just accept the new door policy and quietly go somewhere else. So what's with the change of door policy at this one bar? Apparently, (according to door staff) men are complaining about too many women in the venue. The door policy was changed to allow only 10% women in.

Initially friends were told by the frontline staff, it was because they were women, but as women have challenged this and pointed out the venue is breaking the law (the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 - now the Equality Act 2010, to be exact), so refusals have become quite diverse and a little entertaining in the lengths they are resorting to: 'because it's too busy' (but then allow a group of men in!), 'you're too drunk' (but our night has only just begun!), 'there's too many of you' (said whether there's only 3 of you or a larger group), 'you don't live around here' (ahh, I do....or is Hove excluded as non-resident!).....anything in fact to turn women away, regardless of whether you're a dyke or a fag hag. 

Those that do manage to get through the pearly doors, tell how there's now an attitude towards them, with one guy even confronting a group of girls and yelling at them 'women shouldn't be here anyway!' I find it disappointing that this divide clearly still exists between men and women, and I'm not denying it works both ways. I'm sure equally there are women that would prefer an all female environment. So the question is, is this something we have to just accept and refrain from challenging? Is a divided community how we want it to be? For me, I feel this is a backwards move.

LGBT Equality – The Last Bastion

1950s: LGBT individuals march for equal rights in the USA

Last week over coffee, a friend of mine expressed that the last bastion of LGBT rights is bullying in schools. At the time I had been pondering the irony that on the same night, the month long celebrations in Brighton of LGBT History culminated in the LGBT Green Party Manifesto Launch and the Lavender Lounge, a recreation of a 1950s Queer Drinking Club by OurStory. At the Manifesto Launch, the Green Party speakers spoke about their six cornerstone policies covering four core areas - community, safety, health and education; that would bring a 'Gold Standard' for LGBT people that we are still denied. These are:

• Open up civil marriages and partnerships to both same-sex and opposite sex couples. (A separate law is not an equal law-ed)
• All police forces to have LGBTIQ Liaison Officers with paid time allocated to tackle homophobic and transphobic hate crime.
• End the lifetime ban on gay an bisexual blood donors.
• Amend the Equality Act to provide explicit protection against harassmnt to LGBTQI people.
• Refuse visa and work permits to ‘murder music’ singers and others who incite homo and transphobic violence.
• Ensure safe haven and refugee status or LGBTQI people fleeing persecution.

I left the meeting with our inequalities reverberating through my ears and Caroline Lucas' parting words of 'Fairness is worth fighting for'. Moving onto the recreated 1950s Drinking Club, it left me wondering about what LGBT people of then, would have identified as their cornerstone policies?

Can LGBT people assume, that with the historic gains already made, all the other discriminations will eventually evaporate? Is bullying in schools really our last fight? Are we right to be that complacent?

After all, we still have a ban on same sex marriage. I understand that not everyone wants us to have achieved marriage rights, with some viewing it as an archaic institution, but civil partnerships are not equality. A separate law is not an equal law. One law for straights and a separate law for queers. Are we happy to accept this as our equality?

There's still a blanket lifetime ban on gay and bisexual men donating blood. This is a homophobic policy based on homophobic assumptions. This policy is now being reviewed thanks to the endeavours and campaigning by Outrage, the NUS and others. If it was not for their petitions, the protests, the criticism, would this be getting reviewed?

There's still double standards in the decisions that the Government make. Successive Home Secretaries have given reggae artists such as Beenie Man and Bounty Killer visa's and work permits to come here to perform, freedom to incite the murder of LGBT people, without any fear of prosecution. I feel lucky to not live within a community, within the UK, where this music is bought and listened to. Equally, there are clerics of the Muslim faith that have been granted visa's to visit, despite preaching hate towards us. Just because it does not effect me, should I be accepting these double standards by the Government that are putting lives at risk?

There is a 'mythology' that there is 'acceptance' of LGBT people and their lives, especially here in Brighton, where I find it easy and accepting of me being lesbian. Yet subtle homophobia permeates our society through the media but is seen as acceptable and rarely challenged by the Press Complaints Commission or by the British Broadcasting Standards. Hate crime is on the increase and we've seen that with the violent murders and attacks across the country over the last 12 months, including attacks in Brighton. Should I feel as safe as I do?

Will the Equality Bill give us full protection? Not as it stands. It actually has written under certain clauses, that protections against harassment will not apply on the grounds of sexual orientation or gender reassignment. Will religious organisations be granted the opt-out that they seek?

For me, those two events held on the same evening was quite a poignant message in itself. Just as in the 1950s LGBT people would have been fighting for acceptance and acknowledgment of being allowed to live their lives as who they are, so too, are we in 2010. We have come a long way in attaining the equality we have, but I won't be getting complacent just yet.

Why I will never dance to Katy Perry ‘I kissed a girl’

Out last night at a lesbian club night, and once again Katy Perry's 'I kissed a girl' had every woman on the dance floor singing along with the words, and for those lucky ones, a kiss at the appropriate moment.

My DJ friend plays it just to wind me up. Why? Because I say it's homophobic.

Friends find this amusing, because I'm getting all heated over what they fail to hear.  I understand their view point – it's a popular tune that's easy to like,  a refreshing change from all the boy kissed girl songs, and Perry's declaration, "I kissed a girl and I liked it," we heartily agree with.  Suddenly what us lesbian girls do is getting social approval and endorsement by the mainstream.

So what's my issue? I take angst about accepting subtle homophobic references like it's OK. Those willing to take up the debate tell me it's not damaging. I disagree. The subtle homophobia that currently permeates our society is a bigger issue than we are acknowledging. The likes of Jeremy Clarkson who thinks it's OK to call  a car "A bit gay, yes, very ginger beer,” on a Top Gear episode', but insists  he was “ not referring to homosexuals”. Chris Moyles can mock a gay singer in a high-pitched, effeminate voice, on a show that has hundreds of thousands of listeners. Yet, those defending Moyles including those who are gay, note that his show's producer who has worked with Moyles for 9 years, is openly gay and that Moyles has friendships with people such as Alan Carr, Scott Mills and Will Young. So that must mean he's not homophobic, which makes it OK!

In 2006 Moyles, rejected a ringtone, saying "I don't want that one, it's gay," live on air. Yet he is defended by gay and straight alike - as well as the BBC who claimed he was 'keeping up with developments in English usage'.

What really surprises me is that this subtle homophobia is not just coming from the straight world where we can blame it on ignorance, and a lack of awareness of the hatred & bullying experienced by LGBT individuals. I've seen a gay rap artist wear a T-shirt announcing 'racism is so gay'. His argument was it's OK, because a gay man designed it.  Not even Gay Times, who published the photos, questioned it. There's even a 'joke' group called 'I hate gays' on Facebook which is deemed funny because '”it's not to be taken seriously. If you browse the comments most of them are made by gays and it seems 90% of the group's members are gay”.  So that's OK too then.

Which brings me back to Katy Perry.

For some lesbians...well me, Perry's popular tune is at my expense,  a view reinforced by "It doesn't matter, you're my experimental game', and the song's parting words, "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it." I guess I'm never going to get to kiss Perry so I've no need to worry that I'm her lab rat. "It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave." I think it's demeaning to us. I'm the bad girl - how many times have we had that reinforced in our lives!

I kissed a girl follows from Perry's previous single UR So Gay, which is directed at a former boyfriend who she accuses in the lyrics of 'acting gay'. In the song she explains that his problem is that he has too much in common with gay men. Perry's words reflect the language of the school playground with the derogatory use of the word gay and the enforcement of gender compliance. Her naivety is evident.  Obviously she's unaware of the 65% of young lesbian, gay and bisexual pupils who have experienced direct bullying and the 98% of young gay people hear the phrases “that’s so gay” or “you’re so gay” in school (Stonewall School Report 2007). She obviously is also not aware that 48% of boys are bullied for acting 'like girls' and 22% of girls are bullied for acting 'like boys' (Stonewall Teachers Report).

Peter Tatchell's argument, I agree with. "They're not seriously homophobic but they can be read as implicitly demeaning gay people. I am sure Katy would get a critical reception if she expressed comparable sentiments in a song called 'UR so black, Jewish or disabled". The impact homophobia can have is immense on any person who endures it, including exploitation and self harming behaviours. Consequently, this can lead to other problems such as mental health issues, low self esteem, unemployment, homelessness and housing issues.

Whilst as adults who are OK with their sexualities, we can dismiss the subtle homophobia in the lyrics of Katy Perry as harmless.  To those who feel bad about themselves, it reinforces what the media and what the bullies are saying everyday, whether subtly or in our face; that to be gay and lesbian is bad. I take a stand because, what sort of message is all this giving to those people who are questioning their sexuality and/or contemplating coming out and to those who are bullied and taunted everyday in the school playground? I leave it for you to decide, but I will never dance to Katy Perry's  'I kissed a girl'.