I was born this way, oh there ain't no other way...

It's been a long time since I heard someone say that lesbians and gays choose to be so, and I don't mean some Nigerian leader on a documentary by Stephen Fry, but face to face in the pub. What surprised me more was that the individual making this bold statement describes their own sexuality as lesbian and is as butch as they come. 

Somewhat speechless I jumped into defence mode of the world's LGB population, struggling to splutter out my response I was so aghast.

"How can you say that?! People spend years struggling to come to terms with their sexuality, even self harming or committing suicide because of who they are." 

I pointed out that has she not told me in the past how her family guessed she was lesbian long before she did, demonstrating it's nature that makes people gay or lesbian. 

"Why are you not going out with men and leading a straight lifestyle if it's a choice?! I ask. 

"Because I like being with women, I prefer being with women" was her matter of fact reply. 

I try to get to the bottom of what I still view as a dangerous and outrageous statement to be making so flippantly. 

I finally conclude that the point my friend is trying to make (so very badly) is that all humans are innately bisexual to a varying degree. If we lived in a Star Trek world where all preferences regardless of race, gender and species are acceptable we'd all be 'mixing it up' more. 

I disagree. I would definitely be trying to pull B'Elanna Torres, the Klingon engineer but ultimately she's still female. I do agree more of us are bisexual than what the gay or straight community would like acknowledge though. 

I don't believe we are all innately bisexual if it's about loving another person. Yes if it's just sex (and I've covered before about acknowledging and de-stigmatising lesbians who have sex with men), but there's plenty of evidence that those who try to be what they are not end up very unhappy. 

My friend ended up expressing not such a unique and shocking viewpoint albeit expressed poorly and she is right that there is stigma from both gays and straights towards bisexuality; may be as she believes, preventing more of us from both sides of the fence moving closer to the middle, however to use the words "choice" and "gay or lesbian" in the same sentence is dangerous territory.