Love it or hate it, they can’t be avoided. Dyke dramas are part of the lesbian world and culture, and we seem to thrive on them. The urban dictionary describes it as ‘the constant challenges and sometimes strife affecting lesbians, due to affairs and gossip’.
Walk into the lesbian pub, club night or party and you are confronted with girls having heated arguments and bystanders caught in the middle. Being able to keep out of dyke drama is the biggest challenge as when they happen they act like a tornado sucking everyone and everything into their path.
I’ve been embroiled in my own fair share as a result of friendship disputes, relationship break-ups, affairs, jealousy, group dynamics, over zealous loyalty, drug use and alcohol consumption. It doesn’t matter where you go either: Brighton, London, Sydney or New York, town or village, within an hour of meeting a group of gay girls you will know who’s welcome to the party and who’s not, who’d ‘better not show up’, who’s the outcaste of the moment, who’s sleeping with who, who’s got a drink problem and who you should avoid getting close too.
At the last party I went to, upon mentioning who I had my candy-eyes upon, I was told in no uncertain terms to ‘back-off’; it seemed I wasn’t the only one interested. The same individual then challenged me in a competition-like challenge, but I declined saying I was not into duelling over a girl and swiftly moved my attention elsewhere. I was seeking an easy drama-less one night stand, not the opposite.
Party in full swing and beneath all the joviality was a can of worms waiting to be unleashed. Someone’s stormed off feeling intimidated – something to do with having come onto the (ex) wife of someone else, behaviour that wasn’t welcomed. Meanwhile the civil partnered couple are coming onto others and one is caught snogging my best mate. It wasn’t long before all hell had broken loose and dyke drama's were exploding everywhere!
Out celebrating New Years Eve’s with 200 women in the same venue, it was inevitable that at least one dyke drama was never going to be far away as the celebrations took place. I had a great time, but at midnight there were fireworks not just in the sky overhead. A friend of a friend has kissed a girl that wasn’t her girlfriend. Witnessed, tears and arguments now follow and the friends who should be toasting the start of 2012 are instead now caught in the middle as they are left to console, support and unravel events. I’m relieved to not be involved, though disappointed my friend (understandably) has to leave to attend to her distraught friend.
Regardless of the reasons for them, dyke drama is part and parcel of my world. It’s about being a woman and it’s about being a lesbian, it’s about the friendships we share and the relationships we have. There is no avoiding it if you're in the lesbian world.
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