A lesbian man-crush

This Saturday I'm off to London with the GGF for the David Bowie exhibition at the V&A museum. GGF loves Bowie. Her best friend who loves Bowie is coming too.

Even my best mate, who's not coming on Saturday loves Bowie and has a painting of him adorning her living room wall,

“He's the only man I would marry” she's told me in the past. I presume she means if he was in his formative years.

Bowie is a classic example of a “man-crush”. Men that are adored and loved by gay women. I look at the painting on my friend's wall and wonder what it is that has these lesbians and others like them adoring him? May be the V&A exhibition will give me some insight.

I've got a man-crush on Dermot O'Leary and eagerly await X-Factor every year just so I get to enjoy his company every Saturday and Sunday night. To me he comes across as the perfect gent, a nice guy, my perception of the perfect man – qualities I want in my female partners actually. I'd be devastated if I was to discover that he's actually an absolute b*****d.

Whilst Lady Morgana the evil High Priestess with her bad ass attitude from Merlin has me dribbling profusely in the world of fantasy, it's Legolas, the Elf Warrior in Lord of the Rings I go weak at the knees over - I just can't resist his long flowing blond hair and cute pointy ears.

Other popular man-crushes by lesbians are David Beckham, Professor Bryan Cox, Daniel Craig and Brad Pitt (I particularly liked him as Louis de Pointe du Lac, the Louisiana vampire in Interview with the Vampire).

Do you have a man-crush you'd like to share? May be you can explain what it is about particular guys that lesbians just love?

Fingers crossed David Bowie makes an appearance tomorrow (Mr B - 12 noon please!) Not only will that put me firmly in first place as the best girlfriend ever (as I bought the tickets for GGF's birthday) but I can ask Bowie directly about his man-crush status.

Which lesbian icon are you like?

Brighton LGBT Pride which takes place on August 3rd have announced this years theme as 'gay icons'. On hearing this it immediately made me think of my girlfriend who's obsessed with David Bowie and will be cheering the loudest for any parade entry with a Ziggy theme. It might even inspire her to dress up with his iconic flash for the occasion too. My face paints are at the ready!

Gay icons is a great theme to get us all excited this year. Synonymous with the LGBT community we've all got a love of someone from the glitzy diva's we like to emulate to the sports personalities we admire.

It's also a great theme because gay icons are allies or those who are out and proud - those who have stood up publicly for LGBT rights, equality for all and challenged those who have been against us. With the equal marriage Bill currently being debated in the Houses of Parliament and LGBT bullying in schools at the forefront of major campaigns to tackle the issue; celebrating and acknowledging those that publicly stick up for us whether gay or straight is a powerful and important message.

Pink is a popular icon for lesbians

Whilst names like Martina Navratilova, Claire Balding, Jane Lynch and Pink immediately spring to my mind as great lesbian icons, I did a quick Google search to see who else we might see represented in the parade. It will be particularly interesting to see the generational differences for people's icon choices.

Instead I got distracted by a 'Which Lesbian Icon Are you?' quiz on the website AfterEllen. They'd identified the following as key (American) lesbian icons: Gertrude Stein, Wander Sykes, Ellen Degeneres, Rachel Maddow, Peppermint Patty, Martina Navratiova, Xena Warrior Princess and Melissa Etheridge. Half of these I've no idea who they are! After 12 questions about my personality, life style and contributions to the LGBT community it announces my result declaring me akin to gay icon Rachel Maddow, an American television host, political commentator, and author.

Which LGBT icon will you be eager to see and who do you think you're most like?

Can we ever be a united LGBT community again?

It wasn't long ago that I was writing about what it was like to work for an LGBT organisation. Two years on and I'm still in the charity sector but now at a non-LGBT organisation in London where I am the only 'out' lesbian (although not the only gay member of staff). This week I posted the following onto Facebook as a result of a comment made by my manager earlier in the day:

 What ensued was a stream of comments from gay friends, straight friends and family with their opinions on why I questioned it as a problem and if it was a problem at all. Whilst my knowledge of how embedded 'that's so gay' has become in the English language could almost excuse the naivety of family and straight friends on the matter who would require 'educating', I was shocked at some of the responses of my LGBT friends. One lesbian friend even commented that “I should get a grip” if I felt that offended by its use.

The Brighton Pride theme for this year is gay icons. A common quality of a gay icon is someone who has given support to LGBT rights, advocating equal rights and in many cases speaking out against those in opposition. So I find it ironic that as an LGBT community we cannot agree on what those rights should be, what equality is for us and what constitutes prejudice and homo/transphobia and in this case what language is not OK in the workplace.

Once upon a time the community was united with the AIDS epidemic and Abolition of Section 28. But as the same sex marriage bill is debated in the House of Commons by the Bill Committee, so too is it debated amongst those who are LGBT with many questioning why we need it – wasn't the legal rights provided by civil partnerships enough?

For me I'm on the side of those continuing to push for what I believe to be full equality, un-accepting that what we have currently is equal rights. Equally, I will never accept “that's so gay” as a development of the English language for me to tolerate and will challenge anyone, colleague, family member or friend, gay or straight that thinks otherwise. I will be recommending to my employers they do the same, may be with the help of clarification from LGBT advocate Ash Beckham (excellent video):





I always thought that homophobic and transphobic bullying in schools was at least something we, as an LGBT community were united about. But with some expecting me to 'get over it' when gay derogatory language is used in the workplace as an adult; when gay derogatory language is common place within schools and the root of LGBT bullying, it seems even on this subject we are a community divided.