Can we ever be a united LGBT community again?

It wasn't long ago that I was writing about what it was like to work for an LGBT organisation. Two years on and I'm still in the charity sector but now at a non-LGBT organisation in London where I am the only 'out' lesbian (although not the only gay member of staff). This week I posted the following onto Facebook as a result of a comment made by my manager earlier in the day:

 What ensued was a stream of comments from gay friends, straight friends and family with their opinions on why I questioned it as a problem and if it was a problem at all. Whilst my knowledge of how embedded 'that's so gay' has become in the English language could almost excuse the naivety of family and straight friends on the matter who would require 'educating', I was shocked at some of the responses of my LGBT friends. One lesbian friend even commented that “I should get a grip” if I felt that offended by its use.

The Brighton Pride theme for this year is gay icons. A common quality of a gay icon is someone who has given support to LGBT rights, advocating equal rights and in many cases speaking out against those in opposition. So I find it ironic that as an LGBT community we cannot agree on what those rights should be, what equality is for us and what constitutes prejudice and homo/transphobia and in this case what language is not OK in the workplace.

Once upon a time the community was united with the AIDS epidemic and Abolition of Section 28. But as the same sex marriage bill is debated in the House of Commons by the Bill Committee, so too is it debated amongst those who are LGBT with many questioning why we need it – wasn't the legal rights provided by civil partnerships enough?

For me I'm on the side of those continuing to push for what I believe to be full equality, un-accepting that what we have currently is equal rights. Equally, I will never accept “that's so gay” as a development of the English language for me to tolerate and will challenge anyone, colleague, family member or friend, gay or straight that thinks otherwise. I will be recommending to my employers they do the same, may be with the help of clarification from LGBT advocate Ash Beckham (excellent video):





I always thought that homophobic and transphobic bullying in schools was at least something we, as an LGBT community were united about. But with some expecting me to 'get over it' when gay derogatory language is used in the workplace as an adult; when gay derogatory language is common place within schools and the root of LGBT bullying, it seems even on this subject we are a community divided.