When I typed ‘lesbians smoking’ into Google, I was expecting to get a load of websites detailing research and studies undertaken on our health and well-being with a plethora of stats. It’s disturbingly (though may be not surprisingly) lacking. In fact when it comes to lesbian health, we are pretty much ignored with more focus on gay men’s needs whose sexual and social activities are deemed ‘higher-risk’ than our own.
Instead the first page of search results Google provided (disturbingly but not unsurprisingly) contained eight porn sites. It seems that to many, ‘lesbians and smoking’ is the perfect hot and sexy combination.
I’m not a smoker and never have been, but in the lesbian world this makes me somewhat of an oddity. Sites that have done some research suggest that this prevalence is to do with low self esteem, stress from discrimination and the like. Ummm, I think it’s much more simplistic - If you don't smoke you don't ‘fit in’ to the LGBT community. Who wants to be a minority within a minority? Go to the local lesbian hang out and more often than not, I’m the only one not more familiar with the doorstep!
Of all the girlfriends I’ve had, only one didn’t smoke. They all spoke about giving up and some even managed for a few weeks, but inevitably the lure of the permanent fixture of a lesbian congregation of smokers drew back even those with the strongest willpower. I was once asked how as a non-smoker, I manage to date smokers; would I not rather date a non-smoker like myself? I pointed out that this would leave me with the only option of being celibate and so I choose sex.
On the plus side, it makes it easy to stray (if I was inclined!) as a good third of your social night out is spent with your girlfriend elsewhere. Of course she could stray too but chances are she’s too engrossed in rolling fags and smokers conversation, whilst you’re looking pitifully lonely and deserted by all – an open invite for invitations, though not always those with the best chat up lines,
“If you were my girlfriend... I wouldn’t be leaving you alone for this long........”
“Uh-huh” I sceptically respond, knowing this to be untrue as she disappears to smoke herself when friends return along with the girlfriend.
Of course hanging out with ‘the only lesbian in Brighton’ who doesn’t smoke (OK I'm not quite, but nearly!) is probably equally annoying on a night out. I require everything relaying back from the ‘talk’ and ‘dyke drama’s’ that are going on outside of the venue, I’ve got to be filled in on the conversations that have been taking place and guilt gets the better of your friendship group who then discuss openly in front of you who’s turn it is to stay and ‘baby-sit‘ whilst they all ‘nip out for a fag’ again.
Lesbians will be the most vocal about their annoyance with the smoking ban and the first to suggest that pubs be excluded from it. Yes, any dyke bar with no outside space is destined for closure for it’s a habit that lesbians are not going to give up yet.
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Google was right, 'lesbians, sex and smoking'. You can't have one without the other! |
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