Transient in Brighton

The joke goes that when you visit Brighton for a weekend, you'll be unlikely to leave again. A weekend turns into a week, which turns into a month and before you know it, you've rented a place to live. Which is why when you ask almost anyone how long they've lived in Brighton, most responses will range from "only a month" to two or three years. If you've lived here 16 years as I have, you get weird looks like you've actually overstayed your welcome! 

It's an easy place to make friends if you're sociable enough, a place to relax in where you are easily accepted for who you are, a place where you can discover yourself without anyone judging. It's a place where you are encouraged to be out rather than in and it's easy to get caught up in a never-ending invite to events and activities to suit whatever your preferences and taste. So it's not hard to figure out why people get caught up in the "Brighton bubble", stay and call this home; at least for a short while. 

Brighton though is a transient city. People come here to have fun. They come to study hard and party hard at one of the two universities, they come to enjoy their summer by the sea picking up casual work in the busy and social cafes and bars, they come to teach in one of the hundreds of language schools, or take time to zen out with plenty of shared company at the holistic centres dotted across the city. 

But that transient population go again. Because they've burnt out and realise that book they wanted to write hasn't been started yet, because they've spent all their savings and need to head back to the safety of Mum & Dad before they accrue more debt, because they realise they cannot afford to buy if they want to settle down, so they move out to the cheaper areas of Portslade or Worthing, or they get dogs and decide to move to the countryside or they decide to head to the bright lights of London to start their career or be part of a bigger scene; Brighton can feel claustrophobic if you stay too long. 

Living in a transient city means that friends and your friendship groups are very transient too as people move away with a frequency I believe to be unique to this city. Lesbian groups especially, assisted by relationship break ups and marriages can literally obliterate them to fragments. The former because no-one can hang out together anymore as loyal sides are taken and the latter because they simply don't go out anymore!

To last the course here, just like the tide, you have to move with the ebb and flow of changes and willing to adjust, you have to say no to a few invites every now and again in order to persue your ambitions and dreams and if you want to buy here, definitely don't get a dog, or a baby! 

Being pro-active in fundraising for our LGBT organisations

Camping this bank holiday weekend might have been slightly optimistic as five of us huddled close around the open camp fire trying to stay warm once the sun went down, leaving frosty sub zero temperatures.

Conversation turns to what we've been up to, plans ahead; next Sunday is the Stonewall Equality Walk which takes place annually during May bank holiday in Brighton. We discuss who's planning on taking part.

“The thing is, I just don't like ramming it down people's throats; raising money for gay things” says one of the women, there are nods of agreement from the others.

As someone who has been active in the Brighton LGBT community, both working and volunteering for its' many charities and groups as well as my current employment being with a fundraising organisation, I find this viewpoint disappointing, but not unfamiliar. Just ask any of your friends who they are running, abseiling, swimming for, or some other fundraising challenge and you’re unlikely to hear it’s for an LGBT organisation, with the view expressed around the campfire shared by many of the LGBT community.

Yet this leaves our LGBT organisations vulnerable. MindOut, Switchboard and Sussex Beacon nearly closed in 2012, and Pride changed from being a charity to a business in the same year in order to remain operational. The small charity sector which includes nearly all of Brighton's LGBT organisations, is still heavily reliant on statutory and grant funders; but this has increasingly become a smaller pot of money available and the competition for it, ever higher.

For sustainability, small charities need to diversify their income through fundraising, but this seems to be an even bigger challenge for LGBT charities. It’s a sad fact that as LGBT individuals the majority of us do not seem to be as loyal to LGBT services, don’t seem to care in fact if they exist at all and general apathy prevails. May be, because we fail to see the value of these services if we are not using them ourselves and do not know those who are or how we, are benefiting from them?

LGBT organisations need to get better at engaging with their LGBT communities, so they see the value of their services and understand who and how they are helping, but LGBT individuals also need to recognise that we should all be more pro-active in raising awareness of 'gay things' and being a voice for LGBT rights and equality, the organisations enabling this and the fundraising money that is needed by them.

Can we ever be a united LGBT community again?

It wasn't long ago that I was writing about what it was like to work for an LGBT organisation. Two years on and I'm still in the charity sector but now at a non-LGBT organisation in London where I am the only 'out' lesbian (although not the only gay member of staff). This week I posted the following onto Facebook as a result of a comment made by my manager earlier in the day:

 What ensued was a stream of comments from gay friends, straight friends and family with their opinions on why I questioned it as a problem and if it was a problem at all. Whilst my knowledge of how embedded 'that's so gay' has become in the English language could almost excuse the naivety of family and straight friends on the matter who would require 'educating', I was shocked at some of the responses of my LGBT friends. One lesbian friend even commented that “I should get a grip” if I felt that offended by its use.

The Brighton Pride theme for this year is gay icons. A common quality of a gay icon is someone who has given support to LGBT rights, advocating equal rights and in many cases speaking out against those in opposition. So I find it ironic that as an LGBT community we cannot agree on what those rights should be, what equality is for us and what constitutes prejudice and homo/transphobia and in this case what language is not OK in the workplace.

Once upon a time the community was united with the AIDS epidemic and Abolition of Section 28. But as the same sex marriage bill is debated in the House of Commons by the Bill Committee, so too is it debated amongst those who are LGBT with many questioning why we need it – wasn't the legal rights provided by civil partnerships enough?

For me I'm on the side of those continuing to push for what I believe to be full equality, un-accepting that what we have currently is equal rights. Equally, I will never accept “that's so gay” as a development of the English language for me to tolerate and will challenge anyone, colleague, family member or friend, gay or straight that thinks otherwise. I will be recommending to my employers they do the same, may be with the help of clarification from LGBT advocate Ash Beckham (excellent video):





I always thought that homophobic and transphobic bullying in schools was at least something we, as an LGBT community were united about. But with some expecting me to 'get over it' when gay derogatory language is used in the workplace as an adult; when gay derogatory language is common place within schools and the root of LGBT bullying, it seems even on this subject we are a community divided.    

Living up to the label Part 2

I'm pleased to say that I completed the half-marathon in 2hrs 58mins for the Sussex Beacon. Hurrah! I learned a lot about myself today, mainly that I am rubbish (mentally) at endurance challenges and are unlikely to ever run a full marathon, which had been on my bucket-list until today.

Finish line in sight. Can you see the relief on my face! 

Some of the Bear Patrol who ran in the Half Marathon today

It was an experience I am pleased to have dedicated and pushed myself through, but feel no inclination to repeat. Seems I've just proved that as a lesbian I don't fit the 'sporty dyke' stereotype or label either!

The true “Power of We” in the LGBT community

Today is Blog Action Day when bloggers globally write about one important topic. This year the theme is 'Power of We'. When I think about this from a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans (LGBT) perspective, my thoughts immediately interpret 'we' as 'community' – the 'Power of the LGBT community'.  But what is this?

Is there still such a thing as 'community' for those who are LGBT? If community even exists, what power does it hold if any? I refer to the 'Brighton & Hove LGBT community', the organisations in Brighton promote that they exist to provide services to the 'LGBT community' and I get contacted by researchers wanting to engage with; and event organisers wanting to target and sell tickets to the 'LGBT community'. So clearly we think and feel there is a community of sorts. The Collins Dictionary describes community as:

• all the people living in one district.
• A group of people with shared origins or interests.

The Oxford extends this by describing 'community' as:

• a group of people having a particular characteristic in common.

In nearly every city there tends to be a focus around one street or area for those who are LGBT – St. James Street in Brighton, Soho in London, Canal Street in Manchester, Oxford Street in Sydney, Silom in Bangkok and the Schöneberg district in Berlin, to name a few. We might gravitate to these areas when on holiday, moving to a new city or when newly single in order to seek out those 'like us'. These areas tend to be identifiable by 'The Scene', a collection of bars, pubs and clubs catering to LGBT individuals and there tends to be a high ratio of those who identify as LGBT living in these areas.

But what about those who don't relate to or frequent 'The Scene' and who live outside of these 'gay villages'? Do they still feel as if they belong to an LGBT 'community'? You may not live in one of these areas or go on 'The Scene', but according to the dictionary you are by definition part of the 'community' simply by being LGBT. But how does that translate into a sense of belonging?

Whilst I've spent many an hour on 'The Scene', it was the community groups (Allsorts, BLAGSS and Ishigaki Ju Jitsu) that I joined that allowed me to make friends and turned Brighton into my home. I started this blog out of a sense of needing to describe the community and my experiences within it.

Too often we seek from the 'community' to provide for us and meet our needs, thinking about what the community should be doing for us and then moan, complain and even attack it when it fails to do so. May be instead of withdrawing and alienating ourselves from the LGBT community or expressing apathy towards it – we should do something about it! Ask yourself 'what can I offer the LGBT community to ensure my needs are met from it and that of others'? It's down to us as individuals to make the 'community' feel our own so that we feel a belonging to it. If we all gave a little of our time, energy and commitment to organise, partake and contribute what we felt was missing from the community...we'd discover the true 'power of we' in the LGBT community.

Is apathy killing our LGBT Communities?

It was with sad news that I read this week about the Pink Paper closing. I’ve read and followed the gay newspaper for many years from when it was in print form and my regular reading material whilst I had a pint at the local gay pub. Then it became an online paper which I continued to follow on Facebook.

The last 12 months have seen a number of LGBT services, establishments and charities close or fight for survival, many that have existed for decades. Examples off the top of my head are First Out Cafe and Gay’s The Word bookshop in Soho, the Candy Bar and OUT! bookstore in Brighton, we’ve seen Prides struggle across the UK and experienced LGBT charities struggling to continue to remain financially secure; The Rainbow Fund was set up in response to this growing domino collapse of our services in Brighton & Hove. So what’s going on?

It’s a sad fact that as LGBT individuals the majority of us do not seem to be as loyal to LGBT services, don’t seem to care in fact if they exist at all and general apathy prevails. May be, it’s because we fail to see the value of these services if we are not using them ourselves and do not know those who are benefiting from them. We can’t even be bothered most of the time to fill in questionnaires and surveys to provide the much needed data that tell grant and statutory funders we even need them. May be you don’t, but may be you will at some stage of your life?

‘The Scene’ equally is not immune. In the 13 years I have lived in Brighton, I have seen venues and club nights come and go or remain in a constant penultimate state. In this blog about my life as a lesbian in Brighton I lament about what I dislike with the lesbian scene and why I decreasingly go out on it, mock it even. The bi and trans community express their unease with the Scene, feeling unwelcome and unsafe from the gay and lesbian community and are forced to seek alternatives. So who are these Scene facilities catering for? Not every lesbian will feel as I do, but there are many who will. Not every bi and trans person feels uncomfortable, but there are many who do.

I refer to Brighton, but this is not just about Brighton, other areas could claim the same domino effect of closure in their LGBT communities and scene. Is there a new group of LGBT people that are disassociating from the ‘LGBT community’ and why are they? Are the current services offered by LGBT charities and venues, ‘meeting a need’ they presume LGBT people have? But then if those who identify as LGBT are not willing to fill in surveys, how do they find out? How do we stop the dominoes from falling? Do we need to stop them from falling? Or is it inevitable and just part of the natural cycle of progress and change?  

Remembering Gavin with the Hankie Quilt Project

The Hankie Project is 'a Brighton & Hove based community project created to support those who are living with HIV/AIDS and to remember those we have lost'. The community is invited to be creative and submit a 12” x 12” hankie or panel with the name and a personal message on it as a lasting memory. Groups and business are also invited to submit larger panels which can be added to the Quilt.

The Hankie Quilt carried at Brighton Pride

When I found out about the Hankie Quilt Project, I knew immediately who I would do a panel for. My best friend Gavin. Gavin died on October 4th 2005 aged 29. He had been living with HIV for 8 years. His death was sudden and unexpected, following what was described as a 'routine operation'. He wasn't meant to die, the operation wasn't meant to be life threatening – but 24 hours after surgery and he was no longer alive.

For the last two days I have been cutting and stitching my panel. I chose a sunflower for my panel because in the book of registered deaths at the cemetery where his ashes lay, his mum chose a sunflower for his inscription. I'm not sure of the significance, but know she chose it with purpose, so it felt the most appropriate symbol to represent Gavin on the panel.

Gavin had always struggled with his HIV status. To the outside world Gavin put on a brave face and seemed to just get on with life and it, but internally in his head his status effected him mentally and emotionally and he was ill quite a lot with AIDS related viruses and infections.

At first I wanted to do the panel for Gavin to represent his presence within the Brighton LGBT community attending support and social groups and volunteering for Allsorts Youth Project;  his friendships with many from the community who still live here including me; his presence in Brighton marked by something permanent. But as I stitched over a number of hours I questioned whether he'd appreciate it, realising how much this was for me and my need to remember him – hence I made his name more subtle on the panel than in bold big letters!

His name in letters - a bit more subtle

As I stitched I remembered all the wonderful memories I have of our time together, stuff that's so easy to forget – the things he loved to do, the little things he liked, the things we did together, his personality perfectly described in Allsorts' tribute as ' a softness of character sat alongside a very steely core that would speak up against any form of injustice with a rage and a determination'. I thought about the others he knew who also miss him and the people I don't know from the groups and services he attended that may see the panel and recognise his name. It gave me great joy to do this and lots of tears too.

My finished piece

Gavin wrote two pieces for Blue Deep Sea (2001), an Allsorts Youth Project anthology of young people’s writings. For this he wrote very honestly about how he contracted HIV, included diary entries about the day he found out, wrote about telling his family and friends, his experience of combination therapy treatments and coming to terms with life living with HIV. You can read his writing's about his experience of HIV in the following tribute by Jess Wood on the Allsorts website (page 45 onwards).

The Quilt of panels will be carried through the city by the Bear-Patrol and friends as part of the Pride Parade on September 1st. The Quilt will then go on Exhibition as part of 'Worlds Aids Day' at the Brighton Library on December 2012.

Raising funds for LGBT charities

Recently I completed my University assignment that assessed the strengths and weaknesses of social media use for not-for-profits (NPOs). One of the key reasons for non-profits using social media is to raise vital funds from individuals using social media platforms such as Facebook.

As we've seen within our own Brighton & Hove LGBT community, many charities have struggled to keep going with increased competition for grant and statutory funding. ThirdSector estimated that charities will lose £2.8 billion in public funding between 2011 and 2016. I personally think this will be particularly noticeable within the LGBT community - just ask any of your friends who they are running, abseiling, swimming for, or some other fundraising challenge and you're unlikely to hear it's for an LGBT organisation.

We've already experienced in the last 12 months MindOut's cashflow crisis whilst they waited on the outcome of grant applications and restructuring away from Mind, thankfully getting a lifeline with Big Lottery Funding. Pride in Brighton & Hove collapsed unable to sustain rising event costs against donations, Sussex Beacon launched an appeal to raise £150,000 to keep its Inpatient Unit open and Switchboard were also on the verge of collapse needing £20,000 for survival. I'm sure there will be others to follow who are currently quietly keeping their fingers crossed for that grant application to be successful.

The Guardian reported that statistics show that for every £1 spent by a charity in online fundraising, £10 is donated by individuals. And while the average offline donation in 2010 was £15, online that jumps to £30. The internet is an incredibly efficient donation tool and social media has a huge role to play in that.

But what particularly caught my interest during research was the following paragraph in a journal article: 'To survive and thrive in this competitive environment, theorists purpose that NPOs (non-profit organisations) should concentrate on maintaining and developing relationships with existing funders... Selecting a group that provides most value to an NPO is therefore crucial.  Many NPOs rely on donations from both individuals and organisations. While both sources of funding are important, the average value of each organisational funder is often suggested to be higher than that of the individual.'

It made me think about local LGBTQ groups in Brighton & Hove who are doing amazing activities to help fund and support our charities, helping them to secure their positions when as individuals we seem to be choosing non-LGBT charities to support - may be because as individuals we have not had direct experience of the services provided by LGBT charities, and do not know those who have. Whilst we may know of someone who has died of cancer or suffered from a condition that we now want to raise funds for research.

When Switchboard announced their funding crisis, groups such as the Brighton Gay Men's Chorus were quick to offer money from ticket sales from their Fringe show 'Guilty Treasures'. Allsorts Youth Project has been supported this year from The Honeybee's Hockey Team with their theatre production 'Honeybee's: The Musical' and the upcoming show this Friday from Actually Gay Women's Chorus are donating ticket sales to Brighton Women's Centre as their chosen charity to support. Pride has been resurrected through a Brighton LGBT business alliance and a number of groups have nominated a specific chosen charity to raise funds for, such as Brighton Lesbian & Gay Sports Society (BLAGSS) have Switchboard as their nominated charity whilst Sussex Beacon are supported exclusively by the Bear-Patrol Community Group who have raised close to £30,000 for them.

I guess in conclusion, I wanted to draw attention to and applaud the many groups that raise sums of cash that charities could not achieve from asking individuals alone, that help sustain our LGBT charities, often expelling huge amounts of energy voluntarily. I want to encourage local LGBT charities to reach out to groups and focus on strengthening their relationships with them and I want to encourage individuals to remember when they next agree to a fundraising challenge, that LGBT charities will be needing their help more than ever.  

*Journal mentioned: Macmillan, K., Money, K., Money, A., Downing, S. (2005) Relationship marketing in the not-for-profit sector: an extension and application of the commitment-trust theory, Journal of Business Research. Vol 58 p806.  ** The Guardian article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/voluntary-sector-network/2012/may/24/charities-online-donation

GO.GO Women's Festival Line Up & Arrival of Candy Bar Girls For 2012

Last year I went along to the GO.GO women's festival along with 200 other women from Brighton & Hove to join thousands of females from across the UK. We genuinely had a great time and the moment the dates were announced for 2012 myself, the girlfriend and the same friends that went together last year booked the time off from work without hesitation.

Me, having a good time last year at GO.GO

For those that didn't go to the festival , you may have got a taster of the GO.GO style if you attended Brighton Pride in 2011 where GO.GO and Zhoosh, the LGBT Brighton Network I run teamed up together to run the Women's Performance Tent where GO.GO showcased their abilities at attracting the best (and sexiest!) of UK female talent for their stage line-ups, It was a huge success and the tent packed the whole day.

Working for an LGBT Organisation

I work for Allsorts Youth Project, a Brighton based LGBT youth charity. Last week we held a leaving do for one of my colleagues who's moving onto pastures new into employment that's not anything to do with the LGBT community.  As we all wished him luck with his future, it got us thinking - and joking - about working for an LGBT organisation where for the youth worker roles especially, your sexuality was one of the criteria that landed you the job.

5 of the Allsorts Youth Project Staff

I'm what I like to refer to as 'a Professional Gay' where for the best part of your week you are challenging and responding to LGBT issues, more than you do in your personal life.  It's very much a reversal where socially, you may actually spend less time doing anything 'gay' because of this. Maybe that's why I rant more than my friends about the more subtle forms of homophobia in the media, on TV, in songs, when they just shrug their shoulders and tell me I'm being OTT?!

I go into work and the latest copy of Diva and Gay Times has arrived, which is shared around the office. I turn on my PC to immediately view the latest LGBT news, social media feeds, blog articles and Tweets to identify anything of relevance to the team, the young people, our on-line followers and fans. The boss comes in ranting about the latest Government cuts and how the LGBT community will be effected. Whilst I ask if anyone saw Rihanna on the BritAwards last night because she was looking hot, which has everyone cramming around my computer to watch Youtube.

Here you are not the 'only gay in the village'. What's hot and what's not in the entertainment world along with what's being reported in the news and social media sites are discussed - all with a gay slant. Office gossip is about what Elton John is up to and of course there is the day to day work that we are employed to do.

So you're probably thinking how lovely, you don't have to come out, you can be yourself and you don't have to face prejudice. But yes, we still experience these things. At Allsorts we provide LGBT awareness training in schools, colleges and the workplace, which can be challenging as you are faced with LGBT phobic attitudes and confrontation, potentially in front of 100's of people. This, along with working directly with LGBT youth can often mean revisiting your own difficulties from the past.  Whilst there's no 'coming out' to colleagues within the office, you are coming out when people ask you 'so what do you do?' On your CV you're effectively outing yourself before you've even got an interview when applying for a new job.

An LGBT organisation might provide you with the opportunity to make new friends and may be even that special someone. You certainly get to know more of the people involved in the community, both locally and nationally. It feels good to be involved in the future of generations of LGBT youth challenging the stigma, bullying and prejudice that is still present in society. I'm happy being a 'professional gay' championing LGBT rights and providing a voice for those unable to speak for themselves.