A Girl's Prerogative

I've been around the block a few times as an out and proud lesbian for 18 years. I'm certainly not the naive baby dyke just come out and discovering all the complexities that are par the course when dating women. So I think I'm a pretty accurate judge at knowing when a woman fancies me and is flirting, when her body language tells me we share the same sizzling thoughts and desire to get to know each other more.

This was the case last week when I rocked up at the lesbian local to be warmly greeted with a big smile on the woman I'd already shared a coffee with in the week. Friends abandoned, we drew up chairs at the bar and immediately got chatting. The rest of the world dissolved away.

What seemed like minutes, ended up a few hours and the night is coming to a close. She gives me a long kiss on the lips before saying her farewell and heads for the door. A text arrives minutes later,

'was gr8 seeing u 2nite, c u in the wk yeah?x'

I go home to have excited and pleasant dreams of what might be to come when I next see her.

Like a cold shower, a text the next day reminds me that a girl's prerogative is to change her mind and that women truly are complicated beings from planet Venus. Even as a girl who does girls I cannot always understand their ways and pity the men of this world who must be even more at a loss.

'I shouldn't have kissed u last nite. I just wanted a friend and that was my intention from the start. Sorry if i gave u the wrong impression.'

My disappointment and confusion leave me seeking out friends for support and advice on the matter. We're all perplexed.

With the lesbian world seemingly as small as a pebble in the Grand Canyon of life, I can only wonder if the two degree's of separation that as a lesbian you are constantly at the mercy of, means she's heard something. For one thing, lesbians like to interfere and ALWAYS have an opinion to share, whether it be first hand experience, rumour or rooted in their strong sense of loyalty to someone, about the girl you're interested in.

Like a horse bolting from the stables, as quick as she had arrived in my life, she was gone from it. I've tried to contact her but to no avail and have since conceded before I get a reputation as a psycho stalker.

A mate offers me her words of wisdom to console me, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" When it comes to a girl's prerogative for changing her mind, I think she might just be right.