Mum, Mummy, Mama, Mami, Mumie, Mutti

What to call yourselves when you're two mums, mothers, mummys, mammas... is a minefield, and additionally so if you are looking for non-gender binary terms or as the non-birth parent, you may not identify with the connotation of mum.

You'd think with freedom from stereotypical gendered parent roles and so many potential options, it would be easy and straightforward to pick which you'd like to use. And so initially it appeared to us.  Before LJ was born we discussed whether it was better to let LJ decide for himself or for us to self-label which LJ would either feel happy to continue to use indefinitely or will evolve as he sees fit. However, GGF was keen to be (German) Mami (pronounced Mummy) which she had used as a child, and family and friends kept asking us too, so we opted to self-label.

I only remember having always called my own mother, Mum. However I felt uncomfortable using this as it feels so formal whilst LJ is so young. I wanted something softer and more endearing, so opted for Mama, however ideally I'd prefer an adapted version like Dadam, instead of Dad (I'm soooo disappointed that Mumam does not work!)

Following LJ's birth in the first few weeks we stuck to Mami for GGF and Mama for me, but as quickly as those first weeks have turned into months, we both find ourselves and others mixing it up and using Mum, Mummy and Mama interchangeably and randomly between us.

As the birth parent, Mummy feels more natural to me, whilst Mama feels not, may be because it's less familiar to me and often at baby classes I attend, the songs often refer to Mummy. Thus leaving us back with the dilemma of what and if to self-label or continue as we are and just let LJ choose for himself when he's able too? He will likely outgrow Mummy once older too.

For now, we continue to mix it up, interchanging without correction whilst sticking to what we agreed with Mami/Mamma when asked formally and when we remember to do so with LJ. I've added an extra "m" as this psychologically seems to help?! I can't wait to see if LJ continues to use these or changes them to something he prefers.

For those looking for possible examples, in English common names are: Mum, Mummy, Mamma, Mammy, Ma. In German, Mami, Mumie, Mutti are most common.

However if you are looking for something outside of the common names, you could pick from the following that other same-sex mums are using: Mo, Maddy, Momo, Ima (Hebrew), Mumsy, Opie (O.P. aka Other Parent), Oma (Other Mamma), Maman, Baba. 

What has been your experience? What did you choose? Or what would you choose?