Dinner Party Anyone?

I decided to throw a dinner party for my closest lesbian mates. It sounds simple enough with what should be the biggest stress for me being an inability to multi-task and burning the food in the process.
 

But with two degree’s of separation causing enough dyke drama in the lesbian community to make EastEnders look tame by comparison; serving up burnt food was going to be the least of my concerns. Holding a dinner party for a group of lesbians is not a task to be underestimated in the skill it requires of the host to make sure all goes smoothly and everyone leaves happy at the end of the night. 

Who is willing to be in a room with whom, let alone amicable to each other is nail biting stuff when it comes to sending out the invites to start with. It is not possible and would be seen as bad form, to just invite who you want. It is expected of you to remember the connections that lesbians have with each other. No easy feat when the fall-outs and arguments go back eons of the time, but the individuals involved have in no way forgotten and you’re not allowed too either. 

Often the dyke drama’s that have taken place are quite legitimate and are always caused by matters of the heart, sexual ‘relations’ (often within the same peer group) and/or (perceived) lack of loyalty amongst friends.  The outcome is always the same – lesbians refusing to be in the same room, venue, party, event, town, city, county or country even! 

Even here in Brighton, the UK gay capital (1 in 3 apparently!), lesbian circles can breed a lot of claustrophobia with intense emotional connections (which psychologists suggest is caused by stunted development whilst being in the closet!) and only one lesbian bar to hang out in across an area of 58 Km² to serve the whole lesbian population.  It’s not surprising then really that friends are expected to ‘pick sides’ in order that EastEnders remains fictional viewing for all concerned when socialising in, rather than out. 

I invited eight gay girls to my dinner party, plus the girlfriend. The three most neutral friends (i.e. were not from any of the same friendship circles and unlikely to know one another in any way that might cause friction), couldn’t make it. Then I remembered that one of the remining girls on the invite list had shagged the ex-girlfriend of one of the other girls, so they were unlikely to remain calm once wine had been consumed! Then I also remembered that another two of the guests had in the distant past had a big fall out over an event that varies wildly depending on whose version you get. Unfortunately the invites were out and all that was left was to not panic!  

With relief three more cancelled, leaving me, the girlfriend and the remaining two who didn’t know each other. I was able to start breathing again and all I was left to worry about was not burning the food.